kanina i was alone..again! ayun for two consecutive days, i was left alone with no one to talk to kaya kanina, while i was having my lunch (alone), nakapagsulat ako ng isang parang ewan na entry..haha!

+++++

im alone.. here sa kfc farmers.. another self day! i always want to be alone but i hate the feeling of being alone! it’s really weird.. i always have the tendency to talk to myself and sometimes, the funny thing there is i’m talking to myself out loud that i didn’t notice that someone might hear me talking to no one!haha.. homesickness! waaahh! it really kills me.. i really miss our home.. my family.. i miss everyone.. i miss the hugs and kisses.. i miss the laughters and kulitan.. waahhh! i get teary-eyed.. stop it REN! there are lots of people out here.. they might think you’ve gone crazy! haha

it’s cute to see those people passing by with smiles on their faces.. with someone to laugh with..Waahh! kainggit.. i have no one to laugh with ngayon.. si Lord lang! why am i alone? kasi i thought may service ngayon sa church.. i went late sa guadalupe and found no one.. and no one’s texting me where they are..hayzz.. why am i late? because i woke up late kasi 2am na yata ako natulog kanina.. i watched BB Pilipinas, stayed late kasi nagfi-freak out ako kagabi na baka may masamang loob na pumasok na lang sa bahay and im all alone.. natakot ako dahil dun sa episode ng Imbestigador! haha.. so there, i stayed late watching TV plus reading FrancisM’s happy battle.. it’s really sad.. =(

i still really can’t comprehend why i’m so affected with what happened to him.. siguro kasi takot ako dun sa feeling na mangyari din sa family namin yun, yung mawalan ng tatay.. and seeing him being a cool dad really makes it sad thinking that he left his eight children.. oh my! why do we have to suffer those kinds of pain? i understand that you have plans for us, Lord, pero it’s really hard to take away those pains.. hay Lord, just help his family get through that and we all know that he finally won his battle and that he’s with you now..

+++++

so there,  i spent the rest of the day bein’ alone not until now kasi dumating na si housemate.. =]

a great friend with a lending hand and a big heart has again introduced me to another great writer, Mr. William P. Young, the man behind another great book - The Shack.

i finished reading the book about two weeks ago and certainly, the message of this story stunned me that the revelations and realizations i got here will forever be remembered.

this work of fiction was written in a way that you might think the story really happened sometime, somewhere. (well as for me, i would want to believe it had.) and from time to time, you might find that Papa, Jesus and Sarayu are speaking exactly to you through the character of Mack. 

i picked the lines that really touched my heart and kept it as a treasure inside my journal. but i’ve decided to post it here and share it with you, reader. =D

—–

“Tears. They can be healing waters and a stream of joy. Sometimes they are the best words the heart can speak.”

“I don’t just want a piece of you and a piece of your life. Even if you were able, which you are not, to give me the biggest place, that is not what i want. I want all of you and all of every part of you and your day!”

“Rules cannot bring freedom; they only have the power to accuse.”

“You are wonderful beyond imagination. Just because you make horrendous and destructive choices does not mean you deserve less respect for what you inherently are- the pinnacle of my Creation & the center of my affection.”

“Not all roads will lead to Me. Most roads don’t lead to anywhere. But I will travel any road to find you!”

—–

those lines are just some of the great surprises i found through The Shack, if you want more, i strongly recommend that you read the book as you will definitely be blessed as i’ve been.

 

Hindi man ako kasing galing ng ibang tao magexpress ng feelings through words, pero i know na i can express it more through actions.. and with His guidance, i believe that i can stand out and make a difference for His greater Glory! =D

Surprises. Unexpected greetings from unexpected people. Greetings from special and wonderful persons.

How you people made me really special this day? SUPER! can’t THANK you enough guys.

21 years of existence. 21 years of great blessings! 21 years of molding and refining. from a tiny cocoon, now turning into a beautiful butterfly; ready to flap my wings and carry out the mission of spreading the pollens to produce wonderful flowers… flowers that will soon blossom and beautify the world - all for HIS glory. 21 years and counting… years that will be spent doing HIS will. AJA REN! Papa believes in you!=]

 

(being seriously miserable + getting blissfully emotional at the same time…)

[Part 1] benefit of the doubt

musing over the past three years, i suddenly realized that i haven’t been fair in dealing with my thoughts towards someone. thanks to Ms. Karen who gave me this idea of what you call “the benefit of the doubt”. at least now, i can somehow assume that this someone may not be as bad as what i thought. Ms. Karen possibly might be right that ‘friendship’ was the reason behind those stupid times, and i might be wrong on the notion that this someone has never even cared. for so long, i have based my judgments to this person on how well i knew him, inconsiderate of the other positive reasons there may be. what i think of this someone was no more than his bad sides. it was just then that i asked myself if i do really know him well. perhaps no, definitely not as deep as whom he might really be. counting the times we spent together, i realized that what i only know about this person was just a small part of his individuality. so what’s the point of writing this one? Past is passed. Certainly! but what i only want is to take this chance to blurt out all the deafening shouts which i alone can hear so as to start letting go off things. i am getting tired of hoping for something which can hardly be real. this may not take much of your attention but let me just say sorry for being hypercritical. and i’m expecting that this would be the last time i would write about this stupid stuff.

[Part 2] weekend madness

before, the idea of going home “monthly” scares me a lot! homesickness is the main reason. but why, later on i found the thing cool. first, i can save money since the traveling fare is remarkably expensive these days. another reason is that, the longer i live away from them, the more i miss them. so that whenever i get home, i can have all the reason to cherish the moments with my family. this past weekend has been great! i get to make the most out of it. i’ve spent a great deal of laughter with them, seeing my beloved ‘pamangkins‘ dancing, with their big tummies, bouncing like worms! haha! ’twas really fun seeing those guys together. one more thing, after almost four months, i had the chance to get back to my beloved alma mater. the sense of fulfillment has somewhat filled my heart as the memories flashed back inside my head. it was fun hearing the grievances of students while walking along grove. i heard one student said, “wala na nga akong pera e!” another  one asked, “ilan ifa-finals mo?” haha! it made me remember the times when i still speak those same lines! nakakamiss talagang maging stUPidyante!” hehe! not only the memories made my weekend in elbi wonderful, but more importantly, the time spent with those people whose been with me all along those memories! =p

I got this idea from one of the blog entries of my friend, Shie (ayan ah, in-acknowledge kita!) Since I found the thing interesting, I adopted her thought of writing about different people. Same rule applies, never reveal and tell anyone who the persons in the entry are. The only difference is that I will write about those I miss much and why do I miss them. Read along! Perhaps, you may be one of them… =p

 

**************

 

So here they are:

 

1. Miss na kita kasi ang tagal na rin nung last time kitang nakabonding.. Sana maulit ung time na hihiga ulit tayo sa damuhan tapos mag-stargazing tapos sabay mangangarap..haha! Lately kasi, we’ve been very much occupied by things we need to do to help our families. Kelan nga ba tayo huling nagkita? Di ko na yata maalala! Hehe.. Wala nga ko balita kung may bf ka na.. Anyway, basta stay focus lang sa review, kaya mu yan! Aja! =p

 

1. Miss na kita, lalo na ung mga PBB nights natin at chikahang walang humpay kapag nakikitulog ako sa bahay nyo. Kelan kaya mauulit un? Matagal na ulit siguro, iba na kasi ngayon, minsan na lang ako nakakauwi jan sa probinsya e. Saka na ung pizza mo ha? Basta one of these days, iti-treat din kita! =p

 

1. Hoy ikaw! Miss na rin kita.. (miss mo rin kaya ako? ASA PA! Haha!) Miss ko na ung mga pagkukwento mo sakin ng mga kalokohan mo. Ano na nga ba nangyayari sa’yo ngayon? Kaw kasi, yaw mo man lang ako balitaan. Di ko alam kung may galit ka sakin or what. Basta ‘am still looking forward na makakwentuhan ka ulit baling araw.. At sana by that time, mga good deeds mo naman ke-kwento mo! Papa-burger ako kung mangyayari un! Hehe.. =p

 

1. Miss ko na kayo, ang hirap pala talaga kasi maging independent. Nakakamiss din ung mga pang-aalaska nyo sakin.. Tsaka ung mga pagkain jan, miss ko na ung luto mo, miss ko na ung mga hirit mo at ung pangangarap natin ng sabay, miss ko na ung pangungulit mo, miss ko na katahimikan nyo, miss ko na kakulitan nyo! Hay, nakakamiss ung feeling na secured ako pag kasama ko kayo.. Mahal ko kayo, sobra! =p

 

1. Ikaw, tama ikaw nga! Miss na kita, lalo na ung mga brotherly/fatherly/friendly advices mo..(hanggang dun na lang ba talaga? Wahehe) Galingan mo ah, basta pray lang ng pray! Alam ni Lord kung gano mo kagusto makatulong sa family mo kaya I know, He’ll listen to you.. Everything happens for a reason and prayers are being answered at the right time! Basta wag ka lang mawawalan ng pag-asa! Pa-ice creamin kita if you make it this time! =p

 

1. Kelan ka babalik sa office? Namimiss ko na ang mga pang-ookray mo at ung mga matatalim mong tingin! Hehe.. Nakakatakot kasi ang dating ng mata mo, ang suplada tignan! Pagaling ka agad.. Miss ka na ni destiny mo tsaka ni Gagambala! Haha..Peace awt! Hehe.. =p

 

1. Ui, ilang taon na naman before tayo magkita-kita ulit. Nakakamiss ung mga kwetuhan natin sa mga crushes natin nun, mga kantahan, pagwi-window shopping, pangangarap! Kung pwede lang sana ibalik ang panahon. Nakakatawang balikan ung mga times na wala pa tayo halos kamuwang-muwang sa mundo! Hayyz, kelan kaya mauulit un? Sana sa susunod na pagkikita natin, kumpleto na tayo. Miss ko na kayo! =p

 

1. Girl! Kamusta naman? Gagraduate ka naba next sem? I do hope! Miss ko na pagiging mag-housemate natin! Lalo na ung mga luto mo, at ung paborito kong specialty mo (sopas na maraming-maraming gatas! Hehe!) Kelan nga pala kayo ikakasal ni bf? Hehe, sabihan mo ko ha?! Wahaha! Pero sabi mo nga, magpapayaman ka muna… Basta wag mo ko kakalimutan ah?! Apir! =p

 

1. Haha! Dahil alam kong magbabasa ka nito, sinama kita kahit di kita namimiss.. Malamang diba?! E halos araw-araw tayo nagkikita. Nyahaha! Gusto ko lang magpasalamat sa pagshe-share mo sakin ng mga kwetong pag-ibig mo! Hehe, kasi kahit bago pa lang tayo magkakilala e somehow, you entrusted me your stories.. (thank you na rin sa mga LIBRE at sa mga LIBRO!) Yaan mo, mamimiss ko din naman mga kulitan moments natin lalo na pag nag-OTP ka na! Madrama ba? Haha! Minsan lang naman ‘to, pagbigyan mo na! =p

 

Nahulaan mo ba kung sino sila?! weeeehhh!! tanungin mo ko.. Pero dahil may rules..isa syang malaking SIKRETO! Di ko sasabihin! Yeah! =p

 

As of this moment, I have finished reading the first four books of “The Chronicles of Narnia”, (’am very much excited to finish the last three in a couple of days! Yeah…) In reality, I never had any idea about this work of fiction. Though it was produced as a major motion picture, it never even caught my interest to watch the movies. But not until Jaymee, my very cute and talented officemate (have to say those so she’ll still lend me her books! Haha… just kiddin’), imparted me the idea that ‘twas MORE than just a book of imaginary tale. And I do found she’s right, it was worth a read! So this time, I just want to share the personal revelations and realizations I gained from reading the books. (I will try my best not to tell the whole story so as not to spoil the account to those who have not read the chronicles yet. And I certainly recommend that you read it!)

 

What I like about this novel is that the writer, the great CS Lewis, had intentionally written the story for young ages (like me! Haha) that it can be easily understood. The narration of scenes were clear and dragging that you can feel what the characters felt if you’re in their position. And what I love most above all is how he used the symbolism of characters to convey that wonderful message: HIS LOVE not only for children, but for each one of us. (As of now, I’m personally touched by books 3 and 4.)

 

The first book entitled, “The Magician’s Nephew”, talks about the first humans/creatures who witnessed the creation of the land of Narnia. Digory Kirke and Polly Plummer were the first humans who learned by chance that there were existing worlds other than ours. Their journey back and forth the woods between the worlds made me believe that somehow there might really be other worlds somewhere out there. Anyway, what I got about this story is the courage Digory had shown. From the very start of the story, he was the one who suggested discovering what was inside the abandoned house, and then he bravely followed Polly on the woods between the worlds though he didn’t know what’s up there just to save her. He was also the one responsible for striking the bell that wakened the witch. And he was the one who traveled across the far garden to get the fruit of the tree that would serve as Narnia’s great defense from bad forces for a long time.

 

Book 2, which is “The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe” (the one produced as a film), fairly made me cry. For some people I asked who have seen the movie, they found it quite dull/uninteresting. Yes, more or less you might agree with them, but not if you have read the book version first. What others may understand (given that they’ve only seen the movie) are just how the Pevensie brothers and sisters (they were Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy) discovered the land of Narnia through the magical wardrobe and how they saved the land from the white Witch with the help of the talking beasts and other creatures who were the native inhabitants of Narnia. (Very common for a fairy tale isn’t it?) But on my opinion, the real deal of this story was when Aslan, the great Lion, the King and Lord of the whole wood, offered his LIFE in exchange of Edmund’s. If you could still remember, (assuming that you have at least seen the movie) Edmund has betrayed his brother and sisters hoping that in return, the white Witch would make a King out of him and give him more Turkish Delight. And because it is in some magical law that every traitor’s blood must be laid upon the Stone Table, Aslan made an agreement with the Witch that instead of Edmund’s life, His’ should be taken. Sounds familiar, eh? Yes, Edmund symbolizes US, humans, sinners. And Aslan himself symbolizes Christ and how he offered his life to save us, not just because it was written or it was in the law, but because of His LOVE for us. And for this reason, I must say that Lewis succeeded in making his tale a lot more brilliant than any other tales I’ve heard.

 

The third book, “The Horse and His Boy”, as I’ve mentioned earlier has a personal impact on me. This was the story of Shasta, adopted son of a Calormene fisherman who later on discovered that he was more than a Calormene boy. Let me quote a line where I definitely felt how Shasta feels while saying something like this, “I do think that I am the most unlucky person living in the whole world. Everything seemed to be right for everyone except for me!” Often, whenever things go wrong, I always feel like I was destined to be unfortunate. Though I know that everything happens for a reason, there were instances that I asked myself, “Am I doomed to suffer?” But after reading this story, I was ashamed of myself. Most of the time, we blame fate for things that do not go with our plans. We hardly realize that even the worst tragedy in our life happens for a much greater reason. This was portrayed in the scenes where Shasta and Aravis, together with their talking horses Bree and Hwin were chased by lions. Later did Shasta learn, only when Aslan revealed to him, that the lion that chased them so the four of them would meet in the forest was the same lion that pierced Aravis’ back so Shasta would be able to deliver his message to King Lune ahead of time. (Better read the story so you would know what the message is all about!) And as for me, though I’m still not quite sure of the reasons behind these hardships, I am faithful that it will be revealed to me in God’s time.

The fourth book, “Prince Caspian” (also produced as a motion picture), likewise moved my innermost being. (Well as for now, I still haven’t seen the film but definitely I will.) Whew! This was the most intensive message that dawned on me so far. The scene where Lucy finally met Aslan in the woods again had a great emotional impact on me. I felt how guilty Lucy felt. Let me give you a brief summary of the event before they met. It was hundreds or thousands of years that passed (no one knows) until the Pevensies were hauled back to the land of Narnia. This was because the children have another mission to carry out, that is to help Prince Caspian win the battle against King Miraz. And since it was long time ago since they left the place, the whole land changed that they had a hard time finding their way to the location of the Stone Table. There was this point when Lucy saw Aslan up the mountain gorge, exactly opposite the path his brothers and sister decided to take. Yes, they didn’t listen to Lucy since they didn’t saw Aslan like what she was saying. And since she found it awful to travel alone, she still went with them, not knowing that it would lead them to a more dangerous path. I just find it striking since most of the time, even though we know where we should go or we know the right thing to do, we tend to do the opposite because we are greatly influenced by people we look up to. (Not realizing that they can also be liable of doing wrong things/decisions.) We are hindered by fears of facing problems alone, forgetting in mind that He is always there to serve as our companion. I admit it, I was bounded by fears that’s why maybe until now, I still can’t find Him living within me. (I just wish that He will still give me more courage to face my fears…)

 

And so that was what I got from the four books. Find it interesting? Then you better read the novel! =p

***

 

Since the storm has passed the night before, the arrival of customers in the cafeteria that evening seemed to be nonstop. At the same time, Harvey and Japoy together with the other personnel were very busy accommodating their customers. And though the two guys were obviously occupied with their duties, it was also noticeable that the buddies were aloof of each other that night.

 

Grudge at the part of Harvey. Japoy should have not treated Mingge that way. Conscienceless - that was what he thought of his closest friend.

 

Compassionate. That was how Japoy deals with his pal whenever they had disagreements. It was not once that Harvey had asked him a favor, oftentimes, big favors. But there were those moments that he cannot comply with him which causes Harvey to hold a feeling against him. He was used to it.

 

***

 

The narrow street on their way home was merely illuminated by the single street lamp situated across the main road of that place. The milieu gets darker and darker as they get nearer to their destination. Apart from the obscurity of the street, she also had a hard time striding along the muddy road.

 

“Ayan, andito na po tayo.” Kikay told her while opening the door of the lodge.

 

“Finally!” she mumbled as she loosened her grip to her backpack and pulled it down. “Wait, bakit parang walang tao? Wala ka bang kasama dito?”

 

“Nasa trabaho pa si Kuya…” she answered. Kikay lit the oil lamp and placed it on top of the table. Then she continued “…madaling araw na uuwi ‘yun.” Afterwards, she laid herself comfortable down the small bamboo-made bed located near the window of the house.

 

Mingge scrutinized every corner of that room. Curious, she asked the little girl, “Asan ang magulang…”

 

Kikay interrupted. “Matulog na tayo, bukas ka na lang magtanong. Pagagalitan ako ni Kuya pag naabutan pa nya kong gising.” Then she closed her eyes and slept.

The place was dark. The lamp on top of the table was its only source of light. Aside from dimness, the room was cramped with scraps of paper, piles of book and painting materials. She wondered what type of job Kikay’s brother was doing. The temperature inside the room was not as humid as expected since Kikay left the windows partly open.

 

Another long day was over. Mingge was already exhausted. Before she lied down beside Kikay, she blew off the lamp’s fire. Then she positioned herself near the window side so as not to run out of air and covered herself with the blanket Papa gave her during her last birthday with him. 

 

***

 

As usual, Japoy arrived in his house past midnight. Normally, he would light the lamp on fire and turn to his books to review his lessons. But that night was different. A part of him was bothered by something he cannot fathom. No, it has nothing to do with Harvey’s coldness. But what could it be? Where could she be? No, it wasn’t his fault. He doesn’t even know that girl so why bother. Instead of reviewing and perhaps because of weariness, he directly went to sleep on the floor.

 

***

 

She opened the door in front of her. As soon as she got inside, it looked as if the hall has no other end. Her eyes were struck by the brightness of the place. There was no one inside that place, not until she glanced at the other corner of the hall. A man dressed in a glowing white polo shirt was standing there looking straight to her direction.

 

She walked towards the point where the man was standing. As she was getting closer to him, she recognized the face of the man steadily smiling upon her.

 

“Papa?”

 

The man did not move. Excited, she ran her way to his direction. But as she moved closer, it seemed that the figure of the man gets farther and farther.

 

“Papa…Papa… Papaaaa…” she cried.

 

Another moment, he was gone.

 

“Anung ginagawa mo dito?” Japoy asked with a baffled face.

 

Shocked, she stumbled up and said,  “Ikaw, anung ginagawa mo dito?”

 

***

 

At the other side of the village, one house was still up. Aling Huling was still busy washing the clothes of her newly acquired customer; Hulio was playing his new toy car while Hulia was playing her new stuffed toy; in another corner, three kids were lying asleep side by side on the floor. At the same time, Mang Husto was busy drinking his favorite beer while singing his favorite song, “fly away…skyline pidgeon fly…”

 

Harvey entered their house. “O Mima, gabing-gabi na yang paglalaba mo. Ba’t di ka pa magpahinga?”

 

“E pinamadali ni Kristine, kelangan nya daw kasi agad.” Aling Huling answered while continuously brushing the clothes. “Kumain ka na dyan, masarap ang niluto ko ngayon.”

 

Harvey took off the cover of the food on the table. “Aba! Masarap nga… Tuyo, Mima, Tuyo na naman?!” he exclaimed.

 

“Anong tuyo?” she stood up and checked what was left on the table. “HUSTOOOOO!!! She screamed out loud. “Pinulutan mo na naman ‘yung ulam ni Arbi! Ikaw talagang batugan kaaaa!!!”

 

 “Bayaan mo na Mima, tulog na lang ako.” then he went straight inside their mini-room where he found the two kids playing near the other three kids sleeping.

 

“Hoy kambal! Bakit gising pa kayo?” he asked them irritably. Then he noticed their new toys. “Aba’t may bago pang mga laruan, san galing yan?”

 

Hulia proudly answered first. “Dun sa bag ng bisita m…”

 

Hulio hurriedly covered her mouth and continued “Binigay nung bisita ni Mima.”

 

“Ah…” And after changing his clothes, Harvey lied down beside the other  three kids. “Matulog na kayo!”

 

Troubled, Hulio soundlessly hit her head with his free hand. “Eng-eng ka talaga Hulia!” her twin brother whispered to her. “Lagot tayo kay Kuya pag nalaman nyang kinuha natin pera nung babae!”

 

***

 

“Kuya, wag na kayo maingay! Matulog na kayo.” Kikay remarked with a sleepy voice then she went back to sleep instantly.

 

That night, both Japoy and Mingge had a hard time to take a nap. Mingge was uncomfortable having in mind that she was now staying at the very house of the one who rejected her. On the other hand, Japoy was feeling uneasy and was still confused on how she got there. But in anyway, that something that was bothering him a while ago seemed to have vanished the moment he saw her lying beside Kikay.

 

***

 

“Yes ma’am!” said the voice at the other line.

 

Jessica hanged-up. Then she turned to Franco. “Sakit talaga sa ulo ‘yang si Minette! I really don’t know what to do with her!”

 

“Anong sabi ng mga pulis?”

 

“As usual, they will try to find her.”

 

“What if they don’t?” Franco asked curiously.

 

Jessica turned back and puffed another cigarette stick. Then she silently uttered, “kung ‘di lang sya ibinilin sakin ni Samuel…” 

 

 ***

Fear.

Four letter word, simple as such that anybody can easily comprehend; simple yet complicated. Hard to accept though, but its complexity was trying to consume me - my inner most being.

In my 20 years of existence, i was pre occupied by fears - fear of being alone, fear of losing someone, fear of being rejected, to the extent of losing my self-worth. And in those 20 years, i struggled hard not to surrender with those fears. if not because of faith, i might not be able to write this one. Why do i feel those fears? why can’t i surpass all those fears? i’m trying to be brave; i’m trying to hold on with what He has promised. Yet, i still find my self frail of the many ordeals that life was giving me.

Tears.

Five letter word, a mere drop of water; tiny yet concludes an entire story. Vulnerable as it may seem, i admit, that was all i can do - to bring out what i feel, through tears.

Yes. i cried - not once, but oftentimes when fear was trying to eat me up. Crying? Is this a sign of faithlessness? Is it a symbol of weakness? i hope not. These words cannot fully express what i am undertaking right now. There’s just those moments when I feel like putting those feelings into words but still fails to make it completely comprehensible. And those moments were the times when tears become my weapon.

i want to talk to her. i want to speak to him. i want to know how they feel, to know what their plans are. i was trying to help, were they able to recognize it? Is my existence significant for them not only because i carry out the burdens which in fact, all of us should bear? Am i here again - losing the little amount of self-confidence left of me?

i fell down countless times; i always stood up just to fight. Life, for me, is just commencing, will i still be able to take it right? =c

Funny how four people working in a bank found that they have the same desires – to WRITE! Kaya isang araw… napagtripan nilang tuparin ang kanilang mga pangarap. And this is one of the products after four weeks…read along!

———————-

Chapter 1

Flock of doves fluttered across the dark gray sky… Shades of darkness enveloped the entire place with cool breeze as the heavy clouds completely covered the lonely sun…

Before the raindrops could touch her face, a little-pretty-shaped feather fell right into the tip of her nose. As she was about to take it, she turned her gaze up in the sky to see where it came from. Suddenly, tiny drops of water pour down from up above and washed away the little-pretty-shaped feather, as well as the tears that marked her sweet but pale looking face…

***

At the central point of the square is a stagnant fountain designed with a stone figure of a typical lady in a filipiniana costume, holding a basket full of fruits up on its head. That is where most of the strangers and bystanders sit to take a rest. Trees and benches all over the park are what one can observe. Somewhere in the left side of the fountain is a mini stage and near the right is a dome-like kiosk.

6:00 PM.

It was already dark. Mingge checked her watch. Oh! She recalled she left it at home. Sighs. From the point where she was sitting, she gazed around and noticed that there’s no one in that place any longer, apart from her and a cigarette vendor. Deep breath. The stagnant water from behind her began to form tiny swirls. And the heavy rain poured down.

To save her backpack dry, she rushed towards the kiosk as fast she could. Then boom! In just a snap, Mingge hardly fell back-buttocks first and found her self lying on the ground.

“What the?! Hindi ka ba tumitingin sa dinadaanan mo?!” he yelled as he was trying to get up from the smash. As soon as he got up, he saw the girl holding her left arm frightened with the blood coming out of her ripped skin. While taking his hankie out of his pocket, he kneeled down and took the girl’s arm. “Naku, mukhang malaki ‘tong sugat ah. Okay ka lang ba?”

“Ouch!” putting away her arm from the guy. “Don’t dare touch it, this really hurts!”

“Sorry, pero kelangan nating takpan ‘yang sugat para pigilan ang pagdugo”, he insisted. Then he took her arm again and wrapped his hankie around the bruise.

Shivering from pain and coldness, her eyes were now locked on his face as he was busy tightening the cloth around her arm. She then remembered someone.

“Oh, ilan ang nahuli mong palaka?” Papa teased her as he was wrapping the bandage around her injured knees.

The little girl sobbed. “Papa naman e! Sabi mo kasi sa malayo ako tumingin, nabangga tuloy ako sa puno.” And she continued crying.

“Ganyan lang talaga sa umpisa, hindi ka matututong mag-bike hangga’t di ka nasusugatan.” He smiled, patted her head and stood up. “Tara!”

Then Papa lifted her up and carried her on his back. The pain she felt earlier slowly vanished as she tightened her grip on her daddy’s shoulder. Only Papa can make her feel secure.

“Uy! Wala ka bang balak tumayo dyan? Basang-basa ka na o!” he raised his voice again, turned around and headed to the kiosk. At that moment she regained herself, quickly stood and followed him.

***

He can never bring back the time. As much as he wanted to, he already lost someone. If only he’d been careful; if only he’d been there just in time, he might have done something to save her.

The weather that afternoon seemed to join him in his solitude. Looking through the windowpane, it’s as if the rain pouring outside was continuously emanating from his deep dark brown eyes. It’s as if a monster inside his chest was eating him up, making him feel more exhausted. The alarm clock ringed. He must now leave…

***

He was soaking wet when he arrived at the cafeteria. Then he went straight to the utility room.

“Tol, mukhang lagi tayong late ngayon ah. May problema ba?” asked the voice behind him.

“Uy Harvey, andyan ka pala. Ha?! Ah, wala”, he replied, shook his head and smiled. “Wala ‘to, napasarap lang ng tulog”, he continued.

Doubtful, Harvey said “Magsabi ka lang ha?”

“Oo naman tol!” Japoy answered back hastily while gathering his stuff. Japoy works at the cafeteria as a helper for four years now. It is his only source to make a living and to support his finances in the school. Unlike his fellow classmates, he needs to work double time because he’s got no one to rely on. His parents abandoned him when he was still young. Japoy grew up on the streets together with the other homeless kids doing the usual things: wander around; sell sampaguita; beg for alms. It was simply one rainy afternoon that changed his life the way he never expected it to be.

You can hardly count the customers of the cafeteria that day. Perhaps because of the weather outside. Japoy was busy mopping the wet floor when he noticed a silhouette of someone sitting down the corner behind the glass door of the cafeteria. He went outside to check who it might be.

The girl crouching at the corner was freezing terribly. “haaacchuuuu!” And she was sneezing badly! “haacchuuuuuu!”

“Miss?!”

She tilted her head up. “hachuuuuu!” She extremely sneezed to death that bits of liquid substance have touched Japoy’s face. “ooohh, I’m sorry!…hachuuuu!” And she covered her face to her shame.

The annoyance on his face was obvious. He reached for his hankie inside his pocket and soon spotted that it was on the girl’s arm. “Anong ginagawa mo dyan?” He asked her sarcastically while wiping the substance off his face.

She apologized softly. “Sorry! Uhm, isosoli ko lang naman sana ‘tong panyo mo…”

When she was about to untie it, Japoy ironically butt in. “Puno na ng dugo ‘yan ta’s isosoli mo pa sa’kin?” Then he returned back and left the girl behind.

Japoy continued mopping the floor. Mingge remained still in that corner – chilled. Hours passed and the night’s falling but the rain outside seemed to be unending. Patrons started to move out of the shop. It seemed like the storm will endure until next morning.

***

“Jessica, don’t you have plans to look for her?”

“Natuto syang umalis, matuto syang bumalik! For sure, uuwi din ‘yun… I know she can’t live alone.” Minette’s mom tried to pretend to her partner that she was not bothered at all.

Compared to other mother-daughter relationships, theirs was a conflicting one. It was very common that Jessica and her daughter would argue about anything that concerns both of them. And that day was the worst. Minette could not stand the fact that her mother has married another man, only a year after her father’s death. That is the reason why she left the house.

***

It was past twelve midnight. Only Japoy and Harvey were left to close the shop. They were about to lock the door when Harvey caught a glimpse of someone on the floor. It was Mingge- unconscious.

Chapter 2

Memories of the past hit her. It was him who made her feel whole again. Yet, it was also him who crushed her heart. Tears glide down her cheeks along with the raindrops. The wind blew stronger. She ignored it. But the feeling inside her, she can’t bear it. She stayed still in that place–that very place where it all started.

***

Rays of the glorious sun somewhat pierced her eyes when she woke up. The storm has passed. Still, she’s not feeling well. Then it came upon her that she’s in an unfamiliar place.

“Where am I?” she whispered.

“Gising ka na pala,” uttered the strange voice. “Kamusta na pakiramdam mo?”

“Sino ka? Bakit ako nandito?”

At last, he saw her eyes; he heard her voice. He felt relieved. “Harvey…” Then he bowed down; gestured as if he was giving honor to his princess. “…at your service!”

Puzzled, Mingge replied “Wait, I’m serious here. Anung ginagawa ko dito?”

He told her what happened the night before. When they found her lying unconscious outside the cafeteria, they brought her to Harvey’s place where they ask his mother to help her. She fainted possibly because of high fever.

*broookkkk*… *bloookkkk*

Her tummy aches. It was nearly a day since she last filled her stomach.

“Haha! Nag-aalburoto na tyan mo.” He laughed out loud. “Saglit lang, hihingi ako ng pagkain kay Mima.”

***

He was inside the bathroom when his phone rang.

“Kuya Japoy! What’s up?” the familiar accented voice on the other end of the line greeted him.

“Poleng?!”

“Eeewww! Stop calling me that way! Already a lady here. Apple!” Sounded as mixed irritated and excited she continued, “…just want to let you know that I’ll be coming home soon.”

His heartbeat rushed - same as whenever this voice calls, probably because of gladness. But this time, it was different. Suddenly, he felt as though he can’t move his lips, his mind, blocked. From where that feeling’s coming, he can’t imagine. Ten seconds passed, he merely uttered nothing.

***

‘Twas half past seven in the evening. Japoy arrived late at the cafeteria, again! This was very unusual of him. For the long time he has stayed there as a helper, he was never late. It was only until he learned that his childhood friend was already engaged. It affected him so much that he couldn’t concentrate on his studies and even on his work, to the point where he started neglecting his own self.

Harvey, who waited for him so long, approached him and said, “Akala ko ‘di ka na papasok. Nandito nga pala si Mingge.” Then he pouted his lips and pointed to a girl near the counter. It was the same girl they brought to Harvey’s house last night; the same girl that he accidentally bumped onto at the park.

He explained to Japoy that this girl came from a province somewhere in the South to look for a job and to look for some place to stay in. But the big problem is that she doesn’t have any penny left to afford a decent room.

“Tinanong ko na si boss kung pwede ba syang magtrabaho dito kaso wala pa daw bakante e.” Harvey said, still gazing at her.

“Maghanap sya sa iba, problema ba ‘yon?!” he resentfully replied. “Tignan mo nga, mukha naman syang anak mayaman o!”

“Ano ka ba ‘tol, iba na ‘to…” he deeply breathe and with a silly look, he smiled and spoke, “…mahal ko na sya!”

Toink! Japoy threw his hand and strike him on his head.

“Arayyyy!”

“Ano na namang kalokohan yan?! Parang kahapon mo lang sya nakita tapos MAHAL mo na sya?”

“Love at first sight ‘tol, love at first sight!” Harvey sighed.

“Tsss. E anong balak mo ngayon?”

“Yun nga e, alam mo naman kasing di ko sya pwedeng patirahin sa bahay! Para na kaming sardinas dun!” Scratching his head, he continued “Baka naman pwede sya dun sa’yo?”

“Ano?!” Japoy’s eyes widened, his voice raised unnoticing Mingge draw near them. “Hindi sya pwede dun, uuwi na si Poleng next month.”

“Ah, Harvey…” Mingge interrupted. “Sige, sa iba na lang siguro ako maghahanap. Salamat na lang.”

***

Chapter 3

After long hours of wandering, she found herself back at the park where she first rested ever since she set foot in that city. It was getting late and still, she has nowhere to settle in. It seems like the park will serve as her cradle that night. Again, her tummy groaned, she’s already starving. She checked her purse to see what was left of her money. And to her surprise, she found nothing!

“Oh ma …” her mouth stuck open. She searched her backpack restlessly but didn’t found anything, not a single cent! “Waaaah! Pa’no na ko nito. Ayoko nang bumalik sa bahay na ‘yun!”

Suddenly, someone pulled her shirt.

“Ale, ale! Bili na kayo nitong balot oh.” The little girl carrying a basket asked her. “Isa na lang po kasi ‘to, para po makauwi na ako.”

“Nang-aasar ka ba?! Eto nga’t nawawala yung pera ko.” She yelled at the little girl irritably. “Kahit na gutom na’ko, wala akong pambili nyan!”

*broookk*… *blooookk*

“Ganun po ba? Mukha nga po.” She chuckled and said. “Sige po, sa’yo na lang ‘to.” Then she handed her the single egg left in her basket.

“Sigurado ka? Baka pagalitan ka nyan ng nanay mo.” Her voice shifted into a gentle one.

“Hindi po, walang magagalit sakin.”

“Wait, pano ba kainin to?!”

The little girl giggled. “Hindi po kayo marunong kumain nyan?! Anak mayaman siguro kayo.” Then she sat beside her and assisted her.

That night, she found a friend.

“Sa’n ka nakatira ale?”

“Mingge, yun ang pangalan ko.” She looked at her eyes. “Wala nga ko mauuwian e. Ikaw, anung pangalan mo?”

“Kikay.”

***

———————————————–

Comments for the first two weeks:

Jaymee wrote: “sentimental..marami nang emotions sa simula pa lang..(wala pa raw nangyayari sabi ni tin!=D) mukhang papaiyakin tayo nito sa dulo..hehe (Yung tipong babasahin mo kung trip mong mag-emote)”

Chico wrote: “maganda yung use of flashbacks as kontrapelo sa main line ng kwento”

Jerush wrote: “maalaala mo kaya ito?!”

Karen wrote: “katuwa naman kau.. ur so imaginative! =) I enjoyed ur stories..very unique ang story lines ng bawat isa..they’re all very promising..can’t wait to read the next installment..haha..para akong telenovela addict na nito..mag-aabang ng susunod na kabanata..hehe..keep it up guys! I’ll be waiting..=)”

If you want to read the stories of my colleagues, go to the link(s) below: http://secnelis.blogs.friendster.com/unblank/2008/08/the_lake_of_the.html